Nana Cat Stories
Nana cat is a very old pussy cat. She has lived to a ripe old age because she makes sure she goes for walks every day and she doesn't bottle up her emotions either; no, if Nana cat is annoyed at you she says "MMMRRAAAAHHH" to let you know she is most displeased.
Nana cat is a very glamorous pussy cat, her favourite outfit is a leopard print neckerchief and a raspberry beret. She looks fabulous in any outfit and always makes sure her fur is in good nick because she often walks around naked too.
If the weather is fine Nana enjoys going out for a drive in her fancy car with the roof down. She sometimes smokes a cigarette on a long cigarette holder because she thinks it looks cool, but she is slightly concerned about lung cancer so she doesn't do it often.
When driving, Nana sometimes experiences road rage and goes "MMMRRAAAAHHH" at the other drivers. Most of them look at her in a strange way because they're not used to seeing cats drive cars. If these people were awake at night though they would see that nearly all the cats go around in cars which work using the power of the moon.
Nana cat is a very glamorous pussy cat, her favourite outfit is a leopard print neckerchief and a raspberry beret. She looks fabulous in any outfit and always makes sure her fur is in good nick because she often walks around naked too.
If the weather is fine Nana enjoys going out for a drive in her fancy car with the roof down. She sometimes smokes a cigarette on a long cigarette holder because she thinks it looks cool, but she is slightly concerned about lung cancer so she doesn't do it often.
When driving, Nana sometimes experiences road rage and goes "MMMRRAAAAHHH" at the other drivers. Most of them look at her in a strange way because they're not used to seeing cats drive cars. If these people were awake at night though they would see that nearly all the cats go around in cars which work using the power of the moon.
Today it's far too blustery to go outside so Nana cat is staying inside, she even had her poo on the dining room floor rather than going outside to the garden to do one! How naughty Nana! She's making up for her earlier behaviour by baking a carrot coffee cake.
When baking nana likes to don her frilly pink apron. She vigorously stirs the cake mixture and tastes it... mmm, yes, tasty, maybe it requires a touch more marge...
Nana's favourite part of baking is doing the icing, it's full of vegan margarine, the best margarine in the world. Nana is also one half addicted to coffee so she's rather excited about the coffee flavour. After licking half the mixture before icing the cake Nana is buzzing! The cake is iced rather erratically and looks a bit of a mess. Nana doesn't care.
When baking nana likes to don her frilly pink apron. She vigorously stirs the cake mixture and tastes it... mmm, yes, tasty, maybe it requires a touch more marge...
Nana's favourite part of baking is doing the icing, it's full of vegan margarine, the best margarine in the world. Nana is also one half addicted to coffee so she's rather excited about the coffee flavour. After licking half the mixture before icing the cake Nana is buzzing! The cake is iced rather erratically and looks a bit of a mess. Nana doesn't care.
Nana cat is well into her fitness. She spends hours every day and night pacing around the living room in figures of eight, or maybe it's infinity signs, who knows? It may be a way in which she is trying to communicate with the humans who co-habit the residence with her, or maybe eight is just her favourite number.
Here she's sporting some very fashionable fitness gear. She is absolutely positive the stripes enable her to pace with maximum efficiency as well as making her the envy of the cats in the lounge, which is only Mogwai and Gilgamesh and they're not actually fussed about exercise or sports gear, it's all in Nana's head.
Through exercising intensively Nana maintains a toned physique as well as retaining mental clarity (sort of) in her old age. It also means she can eat as much cake as she pleases as all those calories will be burnt off. Life is great when you're Nana cat. Everything works out for the best.
Here she's sporting some very fashionable fitness gear. She is absolutely positive the stripes enable her to pace with maximum efficiency as well as making her the envy of the cats in the lounge, which is only Mogwai and Gilgamesh and they're not actually fussed about exercise or sports gear, it's all in Nana's head.
Through exercising intensively Nana maintains a toned physique as well as retaining mental clarity (sort of) in her old age. It also means she can eat as much cake as she pleases as all those calories will be burnt off. Life is great when you're Nana cat. Everything works out for the best.
Sometimes Nana becomes frustrated by life; people get in the way of her figure of 8, Gilgamesh tries eating all her food, someone's put her outside to poo and she wants to poo inside, under the table. This all makes Nana most displeased, sometimes she's vocal in her displeasure,
"MMMRRAAAAHHH".
Yes Nana. and sometimes, she doesn't need to say a thing, her face has the appearance of a slapped bottom, so to speak.
"MMMRRAAAAHHH".
Yes Nana. and sometimes, she doesn't need to say a thing, her face has the appearance of a slapped bottom, so to speak.
One day, Nana cat found a cooked mushroom on the floor by the feet of a human who was washing the dishes. Nana put her mark on the humans foot and then preceded to eat the mushroom. It was tasty. In fact it was so tasty, it changed Nana's life forever. Suddenly, all the questions of the universe were answered! Life made perfect sense and everything was about a kazillion times more beautiful than ever. And all the colourful mushrooms falling from the sky started singing songs of love to Nana and they called her Queen Nana, which everybody else forgot to do all the time. Good mushrooms.
Ever since that day Nana has been going on and on about mushrooms. Mogwai and Gilgamesh considered committing her to a special home for cats who have lost their marbles, or in Nana's case, lost their mushrooms. As it happens though, Nana has started experimenting with different vegetables and herbs, which has calmed her down significantly. The boys dose her up on camomile every evening so they don't need to hear about the mushrooms again.
Ever since that day Nana has been going on and on about mushrooms. Mogwai and Gilgamesh considered committing her to a special home for cats who have lost their marbles, or in Nana's case, lost their mushrooms. As it happens though, Nana has started experimenting with different vegetables and herbs, which has calmed her down significantly. The boys dose her up on camomile every evening so they don't need to hear about the mushrooms again.
The other day Nana cat wanted to sit on the sofa, it had smashing new covers and all. As is sometimes the case when Nana cat clambers onto things her claws got stuck like velcro to the new cover. She looks a bit like King Kong on that high rise building only much less elegant and the sofa is only about 20cm off the floor. Nana continued to struggle against gravity and the velcro like claw-sofa adhesion in a slow motion sort of a way only for the cover to start slipping down to the floor with Nana still attached! Luckily, Nana cat landed on her back ( as any self respecting cat does) and preceded to remain in that position to make it look like that was what she had intended all along.
Naturally all the humans in the room observing this burst out laughing only to suddenly feel that ominous feeling, the one where you're all like... Is she dead....? OH MY GOODNESS! NNNAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA??????!!!!!!!!!
Nana cat was of course fine. She is going to live to be 389 years old (thats human years). It was her little joke on the humans for laughing at her. Stupid puny humans. FEEL THE WRATH OF NANA.
Naturally all the humans in the room observing this burst out laughing only to suddenly feel that ominous feeling, the one where you're all like... Is she dead....? OH MY GOODNESS! NNNAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA??????!!!!!!!!!
Nana cat was of course fine. She is going to live to be 389 years old (thats human years). It was her little joke on the humans for laughing at her. Stupid puny humans. FEEL THE WRATH OF NANA.
And so some nights Nana cat INSISTS on going to sleep in Mo's bed and dropping off as many fleas as she can in the process... precious fleas... need a cosy nest to lay their eggs in. You're so kind Nana, so kind.
Usually Nana sleeps happily and snuggly under the covers. But not tonight. As Mo settled to sleep, so I'm informed, Nana cat decided it was about pacing O'Clock and so round and round the bed she would pace, pace, pace. Without a care about disturbing any humans from their slumber. And so Mo was awake. Job done, Nana could now settle down comfortably, with someone to watch to her as she slept and listen as she snored her little snore.
An hour or so later as Mo was able to convince himself to sleep again Nana cat awoke with a burning desire to pace around the bed again, and intermittently Mraaaahhhh at the moonlight, as it was about 1 or 2 am... the perfect time to sing at the moon. Pace, pace, pace.
And so the night continued until Mo, red with anger, dropped Nana cat off in the living area of the house where she would disturb Mogwai and Gilgamesh's sleep, they were used to it. Poor Pussies.
Usually Nana sleeps happily and snuggly under the covers. But not tonight. As Mo settled to sleep, so I'm informed, Nana cat decided it was about pacing O'Clock and so round and round the bed she would pace, pace, pace. Without a care about disturbing any humans from their slumber. And so Mo was awake. Job done, Nana could now settle down comfortably, with someone to watch to her as she slept and listen as she snored her little snore.
An hour or so later as Mo was able to convince himself to sleep again Nana cat awoke with a burning desire to pace around the bed again, and intermittently Mraaaahhhh at the moonlight, as it was about 1 or 2 am... the perfect time to sing at the moon. Pace, pace, pace.
And so the night continued until Mo, red with anger, dropped Nana cat off in the living area of the house where she would disturb Mogwai and Gilgamesh's sleep, they were used to it. Poor Pussies.